I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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