captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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