...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
