I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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