i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
