I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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