If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
