I looked at my own cervix.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
