I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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