Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
