I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have demons in me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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