All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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