I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
