Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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