i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
