we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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