I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
