I cut my penus on the lid.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
