He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
