i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
