If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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