I will die if light touches me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
