She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
