I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
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