You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
