if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
