It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
