you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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