girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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