is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
