Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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