come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
