As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
