you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
