is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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