I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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