jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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