If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
