he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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