don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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