Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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