YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
