i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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