My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
