i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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