hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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