haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
