She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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