Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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