I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
